She’s my age. So is her husband. They’ve raised their own 2 children. Empty nesters now. “Why”, I asked, “would you adopt these 2 very young children?” Her answer astounded me.
Her husband was one of 5 children, separated in the 1960s when their Mom over-dosed and died. He remained unadopted, spent the rest of his childhood and teen years bouncing from foster home to foster home.
Her Senior year in High School, while working at a fast food joint, the two met. Her Dad was a strong advocate of education, so dating was not allowed until 18, which she was by now. Bringing the high school drop out home to meet Dad and Mom, Dad decided the guy was okay, but insisted that he get an education. Dad helped boyfriend get his GED, then encouraged the young man to join the Marines. “Self-discipline”.
Eventually Dad and Mom agreed to let boyfriend and daughter marry, providing both resume higher education. They did so. Both are retired. But to earn extra income for the new young family, she drives for both Uber and Lyft when he’s home, and she stays at home when he is Captain of a barge going up and down the Mississippi.
Back to the “Why now” question….
“He wanted to adopt. Never being adopted himself, he wanted to do for others what no one had done for him. Both children, a boy of 4, a girl of 6, were abused, so there’s been trust issues. And a lot of family counseling.
But there’s no regrets. It’s been 18 months. Both kids are thriving, the girl is loving learning to read. The boy is thrilled to have a Grandpa. And both “parents/grandparents” are thriving too, making a difference. Continuing life in a meaningful way.
And what about Dad? He’s passed on. A medical doctor he learned in his 50’s he had a slow growing inoperable brain tumor. Never told anyone. Not his wife. Not his kids. 15 years later, he abruptly announced he was retiring. No reason given initially, just “my hands tremble.” Asked if he might have Parkinson’s he finally admitted: brain cancer. Within 6 months, he was gone. One good man helped a young man likewise become a good man, who in turn is doing yet the same.
Be Well, Do Good.